MARRIAGE: AN INSTITUTION OR DISNEY LAND?

MARRIAGE: AN INSTITUTION OR DISNEY LAND?

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 This is a subject that features among many discussions and whether you like it or not, you will encounter it someday. And even if you have encountered it, you are fortunate to read this article because it serves as an eye-opener on what you should know about marriage. It is sad that too many people walk down the aisle and end up getting a divorce. The case of divorce is not only prevalent in the western world; it also affects the African setting. It is especially heartbreaking when you hear or read about a celebrity breaking up their union. This thing about divorce has become a recurring phenomenon as it is tied to petty matters which can be resolved with understanding.

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Just what is it that attracts opposite sexes? Is it just the looks or the behavioral or distinctive qualities? Do the parties concerned see marriage as really an institution or they see it Disney Land? I mean the part that ends like ‘they lived happily, ever, after. Why it that the issues were not is addressed prior to the exchange of vows? We can keep raising more questions about these marital issues but what is certain is that we live in a fallen world. Like it or refuse it.

Marriage has been defined as an institution in which a man and a woman are joined in matrimony voluntarily and to the exclusion of any other party. Marriage is an institution-a condition in which the parties undergo a transformation. A key aspect of marriage is that of physical bonding or intimacy resulting in the raising and procreation of children. Unfortunately it has been given a false conception thus misleading people to viewing it as a means of self gratification. Marriage has thus become a case of parties seeking to satisfy personal needs instead of satisfying each other’s needs.

Men are moved by sight and women are swayed by fantasies. But if the parties can understand that it takes commitment and self-discipline to be clear headed, understand what is needed and not what it is wanted divorce can be avoided. Marriage as an institution is a process of training and experience. Therefore even if it feels like your spouse is overbearing, it is just a feeling that will pass.

The reason why marriages collapse is that the spouses have been led by their feelings. At beginning the charm and aura are at play. They have no time for quality evaluation-finding out those qualities they can build on to advance their marriage. In fact, ninety percent of married couples have no blue print. This may shock you.They engage in premarital sex which is one big violation of engagement rules.  A blue print is the plan that defines the spouses’ objectives and commitment to each other. Having a blue print is necessary if the marriage must work. The blue print clearly indicates whether the parties are making progress or not. A marriage without a blue print is headed for nowhere. Therefore it is vital that the parties have a blue print if they must stick together for life. It must set out the goals and objectives for the union. This is the secret of those who see marriage as an institution.

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In concluding marriage is an institution –not Disney Land. Never make a marital decision based on your feelings. After all, not all that glitters is gold. Put aside the love-talk and talk the real fact. It’s not as though you must find the right partner. Becoming the right partner is by defining what you need –not what you desire emotionally.

Above all, pray by including the Lord Jesus Christ in your choice of partner. If Christ is missing in the picture then the marriage is a mirage.

NJOKU IZUCHUKWU